Equation

One of my many jobs at Vienna Christian School is a mentor to a young, emerging intellectual, Thomas Gardner. Today, after his wife birthed him his second offspring, he sent me the quote of the day, "As the number of fees in a given area decreases, there is an equivalent drop in the amount of drama within that area."

You see, my work here is DONE.

A time to clean?

Solomon claimed that there was a time for everything. However, I think this really smart dude was wrong. I don't know if there is ever a good time to clean. My mother would disagree with me. Recently, she got frustrated with me after I told her that it had been 6 months since I washed me sheets. I told her she watches Oprah too much and then burped so she passed the phone off to my dad. She then sent me these articles (dust mites and another one to prove her point b/c everything on the internet is true). After I told this story several hundred times in the lunchroom to the fees at school and got the desired "sick, you are disgusting, you are never going to get married" reaction, I washed my sheets. Then, on Monday, two days after departing with my millions or billions of dust mite friends, I come down with a stomach infection. See Mom, those dust mites were keeping me healthy.

The two pictures to the left represent the remains of my humble abode. Soon and very soon, there will have to be a cleaning. The gummy bears will have to come down from the ceiling, the dust balls will be vacuumed, the posters on the walls taken down, the beer coasters boxed up, and the beer caps made into a badass lap.


I'll miss you classy apartment